Where were you? Did you enjoy it? Was it something meaningful or without consequences? …Were you paid? 

I am talking about the first time…on stage!

To be honest, I think I had two first times.

Childhood innocence

The very first time was during a Dr. Sketchy dedicated to toys.

I was a mechanical doll, dressed in gold and candy pink by the amazing François Tamarin, and had wonderful partners : Minou, Hedoluxe, and Molly Crabapple herself, the founder of  Dr. Sketchy’s Anti-Art School.

I proposed Sorrel, the producer, to do a mechanical doll burlesque act during the night.

I was obsessed by doing something interesting and beautiful. But, luckily, I didn’t have much pressure : the audience was very few (20 drawers maybe?) and they didn’t expect anything.

I worked on the choregraphy, I was a bit worried of course, but I felt allright for this first time. Furthermore, the “nudity” thing wasn’t such a burden because I was already almost naked in front of drawers before. I was not that virgin ^^

My act was filmed and I remember I was quite proud of it. It was the beginning of a long reflection on aura, stage energy, aesthetics of moves… If I wouldn’t have been happy with my performance, no doubt I would have stop my burlesque attempt, without being to much disappointed though.

 One silver dollar…

The second first time was my first real “order”: I was (well) paid by a private club in Paris to dance this mechanical doll act on the 31 december 2009.

It was a very different experience. I was so stressed! I left house wearing my doll costume, worried about forgetting some pieces of it. I was almost naked, with a doll make-up, under a huge fur coat, waiting for the subway in the cold of december. An american child told his mother, looking at me : “Hey ! Kind of freak!”

Money was a turning point. I had a strong feeling of responsibility: if they pay me, they expect me to do something worth it, amazing and I can’t disappoint them. No need to say that even if I am not that well paid I care about my work, but it still add some more pressure on me.

I also remember the amazing feeling of communion with the audience. People were very close to me and while I was looking at them, I was feeling something very emotional, not to say a kind of power on the audience. Like a tiger tamer, I felt at the same time powerful and vulnerable.

I am sure that this new feeling plus adrenalin rush turned me into a stage addict!

I believe there are many first times: the one you are on stage, the one you are paid, the one you perform abroad, the one you don’t know anybody in the audience…

What about your first time(s)? Tell me about it, I am curious to hear more about it.